My Introduction to Connection Parenting (and a love letter to my dad on his 73rd birthday)

My unofficial introduction to ‘connection parenting’ came at a young age, from the very beginning of my life actually. I was raised by gentle, positive, connected parents long before it was trending or people were studying this sort of thing. My mom was a mommy-and-me teacher so she worked in supporting parents and had plenty of info and experience in the field of early childhood development to inform her parenting choices (more on this Queen another time), but for my dad, it just came naturally. 

My dad ran his own company and worked very hard for long hours. In fact we maybe saw him for a short period before bedtime during the week and then for most of the weekends (although he worked on Saturdays too). But in my childhood memories, my Dad’s always there! In fact, looking back, I have very few memories in my childhood home without him.  To me, this is a true testament to the level of connection he cultivated with us.

I knew how important he was in his office, but if I needed him and called during the day, he always picked up - even if he was surrounded by people in the middle of a meeting. When he was at home with us, he made us his priority, gave us his full attention and was so hands on and playful. Where my dad was, there was laughter. 

Connection is truly the only thing we need to focus on in our parenting. When connection is at the core, everything else falls into place and you pave the groundwork for a lifelong, safe, nourishing and rich parent-child relationship. 

2 of my go-to connection tools that I use regularly in my home and recommend to parents I work with are ones my dad used daily with us without even knowing how important they are:

*Quality over quantity. A parent who does 15 minutes of Special Time with their child daily can be more connected than a parent who spends all day everyday with their child. The full attention in brief increments will not go unnoticed.  (Read more about Special Time here.)

*Play is the way! Get to laughter. Laughter is healing, laughter is connective, laughter is the shortest distance between two people. I remember my late maternal grandmother often saying “your dad has the best parenting method…laughter”. She was so right! (Read more about the benefits of play here.)

This is the tiniest glimpse into my father, one of the greatest and most adored humans I know and the ways in which connection shaped our relationship. Added bonus: he shows up in grandfatherhood just as beautifully, naturally, magically as he did/does in fatherhood. Happy 73rd, Dad! Thanks for your shining example of how to do life and connection parenting.